Thursday, December 29, 2011

MY NAILS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


So you know how I am about my nails, I decided to go get my nails done so that I shake the horrid weekend I had off. I decided to I decided to invite an associate to keep the day interesting. I realized that I changed a lot about myself.What made me realize it was her actions and my actions are totally different. We use to be really close to the point that we acted just alike but now that I decieded to stop talking to her we act so different. I am much more focused than she is, maybe its because im a senior but she definitly doesnt care much about anything but boys. Well I hope all is well with her.

The Christmas I will never forget


I thought Christamas ever was bad but, CHRISTMAS WAS THE WORST!. After having christmas dinner with my grandmother in New Jersey, my aunt decides so fall and hit her head on the walk way leading to the street where my uncle parked. So my uncle acted like she dwas about to die or something and rushed her to the hospital. I was acting normal because She could've done much but scrapped some skin off her face and Once we arrived at the hospital I was right. She scrapped a great deal of skin off her face but she wasnt dead so I didn't care about much of nothing else. We arrived at the hospital at 8 and didnt leave until 3 a.m. All she did was scrap her face and sprang her wrist and shes acting like she actually broke something or died and came back. She acting like a big baby and it makes me so mad. I got hit by a car, rolled off and got back up even though i spranged my ankle and my wrist.She need s to suck it up and stop acting like she about to die. This is by far the worst christmas I have ever had and I swear I will not be home for New Years.

Christmas Eve brunch!

Due to the no cell phone rule during family time I couldnt take a picture of this special momment.


Ususally we have brunch on christmas at my Auntie Barbra house but, this year we decided to have brunch on christmas eve because some of us were traveling for the holidays. After we ate, opened presents  and alcohol got into my family systems things turned for the worst. People started arguing and fusing and it was really funny to me. I found out my Auntie Barbra is a lesbian, My Aunt Tanya isnt who she portray herself to be, My Uncle keith is having an affaair with this women at his job ( I kind of figured that), and they only reason my Aunt decided to adopt me was because she wanted to take all the credit for my graduation. So as you can my family is something else. I had my mom on my auntie barbra's house phone the whole entire time so she could here this argument. Once that comment about me came up she was pissed and she started cursing through the phone and I just sat there. I didnt know what else to do put sit there. I was pissed and amused all at the same time because most of the comments that was said I already kind of figured it.

MOM'S birthday

So when I got home from school, I was anxious to call me mom to sing her happy birthday. To my surprise she was answer the phone sounding like she was sleeping. I ended up just telling her happy birthday and she said thank you but also told me that today was her day to rest. I was as confused as I could ever be. My mom always go out to what she calls "the hole in the wall" (club for older people) to celebrate her birthday. She always gets her hair and nails done so she can be sexy for her party but she said this year, she wasnt doing anything but sleeping. I guess she lost her partygirl through this year. Well its her day and she can do anything she wants.

Thursday, December 22, 2011

Brownies!!!!!!!

So I decided to bake brownies as a gift to Atlas for ending the year in first place. I believe that everybody should be commended on succes and Atlas definitely deserves this gift. Even though they have gotten on my last nerve with their cocky attitudes I think im doing whats right. I hope this will influence the house of Themis to get the ball back in the court. We need to win this competition and I'm going to do all I can so that Themis get's that trophy. I hope my house members know that we can't sit on our butts and expect we're going to when that trouphy we have to work harder than any other house. 

Getting to know hampton university

The one thing I took from lindsey's presentation on Hampton University was being in a new surronding with new people you dont know. I have a really hard time adapting to new surrondings where I dont know any one and especially not being close to my family. The action plan I will take when entering the college of my choice is have an open mind. I have to be open to getting to know new people and attend social events. A barrier that might cause my action plan to fail is, me putting myself in a shell because im shy when it comes to being in new surronding. The Benefits of seeing my action would be teaching me how to interact with all sorts of different people and there different personalites.

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Artistic abilites

So over the summer, a piece of my artwork has been sitting in an art show. Before taking Ms. Stokes fundamentals of art class,  I wasnt sure of my that I could draw or had any artistic abilites for that matter. As the school year went by my artistic abilites began to become better and better. Ms. Stokes as taught me so much about the aristic side of me and that I never even know about myself. I really wish she still taught here at New Town so that she can bring at the artist abilites out in others. 

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

My awesome christmas tree.

When I walked in the house I came across a undecorated christmas tree. This makes me angry because I don't undersand why.Then it came to mind that my aunt is distastfully lazy so I decided to just go ahead and decorate. After decorating the tree she decided to come and bash my creativity. This made angry to the point that I could pick her up and through her out of a window. Luckly for her i just smiled and took her opinion. Overall I think I did well because I was restricted of creativity because my aunt has no fun creative ornaments or colored decorations. She better be thankful and be quit smh

BORING SUNDAY'S

So nothing really happens on Sunday's. We usually just go to church and go back home which I've decided to call a prison. It's not because I'm or anything, its just because im always laying down doing absolutly. My aunt is always tired in which I don't know why because she doesnmt work. My uncle usually use Sunday as his relaxation day. So these leaves me bored in the house eating and getting :(

Saturday, December 17, 2011

Today is going to be a bad day!!!!!


Today I think I woke up on the wrong side of the bed because everybody is pissing me off. My aunt is reminding me of mess that I clearly dont need to be reminded about, my uncle is being a pain because her keeps turning off the wifi, and my mom is taking her time with semd ing my phone when i already paid for it out of my own money. They wonder why I always say " I can only deoend on myself and God because if it was up to anybody else nothing would be accomplished. I'm not stressed as of the momment which is good because every time I get stressed I break out in hives. So im trying to keep myself at a minimum level of stress but, I can't contain it unless I have some type of support at home. Which is another key problem. I've been doing everything on my own, buy food for myself' paying for college application, etc. Its like as soon as I became a senior they decided to cut me off like it was cool. My mom can't do to much because she lives in North Carolina and has other thing she needs to take care of and my dad has to deal with his baby-mommy drama so I can't do much of anything except pray. I hope by graduation everything will be okay and work out for the best

WHAT HAPPENED!!!!!!!!!


After missing practice Thursday, I was excited to be reunited with my team (even though my team includes, Amber, Kendyl, Bria, and Tia) and excited to cheer at the game. What I didnt know was, the team had their first lemon squeeze ( when you tell your team how you feel about a situation or about somebody) and things went for the worst. Good thinng I wasnt there because instead of bring us togther it ripped us even further apart. We are already seperated into little cliques. Its my stunt group plus a few against the whole team. I personally didnt feel that way until, I was being helpfull but my helpfulness wasn't wanted. The bad thing was she got really smart with me and i just kept a smile on my face but in my mind I wanted to slap the mess out of her. I'm not a violent person but when you piss me off, it's never a good out come. So sadly we didnt get to cheer but luckly we have a team meeting on tuesday so we can sort things out.

I HATE THE DENTIST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


I absolutely positively  hate going to the dentist. Especially when I have to go get cavities filled. When the dentist seen me i wan anticipating the horrid needle to go in my mouth in order to get numbed for the feeling. I had already tensed my muscles to prepare myself what was in store. He kept shaking my cheek, why? I have no clue but, It was really creepy. I didnt see the needle enter my mouth but, I felt the medicine being injected into my cheek muslces. It was the most horrid feeling in the world. I don't know what they thought they were numbing but it definitely wasnt my cheek. I felt everytime he stuck that needle in my cheek. And yes, I was in the dentist office crying. I absolutley hate needles to the up most highest power. I rather take a big horse pill then a needle any where on my body.

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Cricket lab


So today we did a lab in class measuring the CO2 level. We put the crickets in 3 different temperatures of water; ice cold, room temperature, and hot. To my suprise some of the crickets died in the ice cold water. I was thinking that they could survive in cold water being that they are cold blooded. They actually released more CO2 in the room temperature water than in the hot water which was also a surprise. This lab helped me realize  so much about crickets and how they survive in different surrondings. I'm excited for our lab tomorrow even though it's suppose to be more difficult and im ready to take on the challange.

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Blog convosation


So this picture definitely explains how I feel about the the talk we had today with Carney about our blogs. What really makes upset is that I was giving the chance to voice my opinion when I had my hand raised. What I wanted to state was that I thought these blogs were a way to showcase our transition from high school seniors to college freshman. I didnt think we were suppose to recieve grades based on punctuation, spelling, etc. That fact that we were given a chance to do this project and be able to look back and see how I transitioned, made me excited to do it. I didnt expext to be graded hardly on them. I dont think thats fair to us. Im sure you dont really care whats fair as long as we get the work done and done the way you want. I personally think that these blogs are BS because of all the elements your trying to include with these blogs.

New Hair :)


My Aunt and Uncle attending my cousin in laws soul train birthday party but, I couldnt go because I was stuck babysitting other people kids. I hate when my aunts volunteers me to babysit like I don't have a life, she doesnt all the time and then the parents dont expect to pay me. I swear nothing in this world is free. I have responsibilites that I need to taken care of and because I dont have a job I need to do all Ican to take get this money. I decided to help my aunt detangle her wig even though she gets on my last nerve. My mom always tell me to just go with the flow and play it cool because it will be june before you know it. And she's abosolutly right, but sometime my Aunt make me wanna push her down the steps. I know I sound like a bully right now but, you wont be able to feel my pain until you stay with her.

BOWIE STATE!!!!!



I was finally able to apply to Bowie State, by which I paid for the application myself. I have no support from my Aunt or Uncle soI've been doing absolutly everything on my own. I'm awaiting the day of my graduation so that I can see how my Aunts going to act and if she going to try and take full credit of success. I know graduation is suppose to be a happy and special, which it is, but its going to give me a chance to see everyones true colors. Anyway, I need to find another school to apply to. I don't really know where to apply to though. I've figured out my major and all that good stuff but, I cant find the fifth college to apply to. I was going to apply to Morgan but, everyone was telling me that there is always someone being killed and thats what scares me. I think my might still apply anyway.

Friday, December 9, 2011

THIS DAY HERE *shakes my head*


So this D in AVID is really not acceptable. I dont have the money to apply to 5 schools so I dont think I should be pentalized for it. I'm really disappointed right now and hurt. This D is causing me my laptop and a spot on the cheerleding team. So I thought, I used my skill of persuasion and keep my spot on the team but my laptop is being taken away but only on the weekend and that's cool.

LET"S GO TITANS


Awwwwwww. Im so cute. So today I thought I would take pcitures in my uniform to prep for the team pictures tomorrow. I'm really excited about making the team. Its a lot of  fun although the team is seperated in to two cliques. Coach was thinking about doing secret santas but she feels like we all hate each other. I think the idea of the secret santa will brings all of us together and we can get a better understanding of each other. The whole problem is that its always somebody who thinks they are better than everbody else on the team and it shouldnt even be that way. When I think of cheerleading I think of a sister hood that brings up there team and spread cheer to the fans not all this drama. Although Im glad and honored to call myself a cheerleader I don't want to deal with another season full of drama.

I got my uniform!!!!


So I finally got my uniform after trying it on, spinning around and repeatedly saying that I'm taking it home with me. She told me no a couple of times but I didnt give up. I think im really good at persuading people to get the things I want. I can talk my way out of a plethora of things especially being on  punishment. I swear I can talk a two month punishment into a two week punishment in 5 minutes. I hope this characteristic will come in handy when I pursue a career. I still haven't showed my Aunt Tanya my uniform because I dont think she's going to like it because it's a fly away skirt and because of my long legs it looks really short.

UGH MORE WORK


So what your looking at is this packets that where given to mw to day and is due Thursday. NOW HOW IN HELL UNDER THE EARTH AM I GOING TO GET THIS DONE ON TOP OF THE 6 OTHERS CLASSES I HAVE!!!! Now its teachers like this that make me want to just give up. There is no way I'm going to get through this. In plus the group project that I feel like I'm doing by my self because I have lazy teammates. This is why I dont like group projects any way. I'm of off energy the candle is blown out aqnd I just don't have the fuel in the gas tank to keep the car on the road I think I need to pull over and take a break. This christmas break could not come any faster. I'm just ready to go to sleep or hibernate. I just need to go ghost for a little bit. Maybe take a trip to North Carolina for a couple of weeks.

AVID


So lately I've been feeling that AVID is becoming the monkey on my shoulder because it pushes me more than all my other classes. Also I have the pressure of maintaining my grades and being a student athlete and that get's tough sometimes. It takes a lot of energy and drive to be a student athlete and when I come home form practice all I want to do is ice my knees (tendonitis), do mmy homework, and go to bed. Doing this has caused my grades to slip just a little bit except, in AVID 12. I know I havent applied to 5 schools and right now I dont have the finances to do it becuase I have to come out of the pocket myself and I dont have a job. Also I usually update my blogs on Sunday because its my chill day. It gives me time to think about my week so I dont BS on my blogs. It's just becoming a little to much and I need a much little load.

Saturday, December 3, 2011

decorating the tree BY MYSELF. WHAT?

So today we went out to by a christmas tree and to my surprise my aunt and her husband is making me decorate it by myself. What kind of mess is that. Christmas is about the birth of christ and spending time doing stuff together as a family. The idea of this pisses me off to the up most highest level. I have no idea how to decorate a christmas tree. My mom never had one, all we did was put lights on the house and christmas day my mom would put our presents in the middle of the floor and let us go at them. I dont wanna do this it was her idea to get a tree anyway so I say let her do.

Many dreams

     Every since season one of ANTM ( America's Next Top Model). I have always wanted to be a model. Not just any model but a swimsuit model and Tyra is my inspiration. When I look at younger pictures of Tyra it reminds me of myself. Tall, super skinny, sticks for legs, etc. The reason why I wanna be a swimsuit model is because I dont have to walk in high heels (hahahahahaha) and I get to have fun doing what I enjoy, wearing bikini's and If I play my cards right I could even keep the bikini's lol.
 

IM APPAULED


So I was tagged in this picture in facebook and  I felt some type of way. Why was I tagged in this. That is not even my personality, well at least I dont think. But then I started to think of a friend that did remind me that girl in that picture. So I decided to show her thhis picture. She laughed so I dont think she got the message I was trying to send out to her. I hope when she goes home and think about this picture she get's my message and slows down. all of my friends back in North Carolina except one either are pregnant of have had a baby and I dont want her to end up like those girls. As young women its never intened to get pregnant so I really think it's important to protect yourself.

Wow still the same

So I was going through some pictures of myself and I came across this one. I had to me 13 years old and still being fat. I swear I was always caught eating food. No one understood how I could eat so much and be so small. I just shruged and continued to eat. This pictured also so reminded me of how far I've come. I was a fire ball that was always trying to defend herself because I felt like I had to. I was always evil and wouldnt let anyone get close to me to know how I felt inside. I'm so glad i've changed for the better. Yayyyyyyy!!!

Shift Happens

So watching that video in classcalled Shift Happens and it  just made me feel like whats the point of even going to college. You spend tons of money on education when apparently its going to be old have way through you college carrer. That makes me not want to even go through the fight of the dog eat dog world. I'm terrified to the up most highest level. There are to many changes that Im going through right now to think about thye changes that are going to happen int the future. Maybe it just for the best.

Hanging with the deltas

So I went out with a few deltas to talk about college and pledging delta but what they dont know is I will not be pledging delta in college im pledging Zeta. It's not that I have anything against the deltas and what they stand for I just feel like there is more to experience. All the women in my family that pledged has been directed to Delta's and I refuse to continue this legacy. I want to stand out and be different.

='(

Six a.m my mom coms in my room to say her goodbyes and as soon as she opens the door I feel the tears rolling down my face. she gives me a hug and tells me she loves me and as I try to maintain my composure i tell her I love her too and pray that they have a safe trip back. I think I definitely handle myself better then I did last year. Having my mom leave me was just a horrid feeling i couldnt stop crying and I cried the whole day. I cant even continue on this blog.......

Coloring my hair

 














So it's the day before my mom leaves and in order to take my mind off of it I kind of distance myself and try ssomething new so I color my hair. I really dont think its going to turn out right but it was just something to take my mind off my mom leave to go back to NC. I really hope I can go home for the summer before my life changes forever. The thought of that kind of scares me because I hate not knowing what my future holds, but I mean I hope I make the best of it.

Favorite chocolates!!!!!!

So my mom must have channeled how upset I was because she bough me chocolate and it's  my all tie favorite. I dont undestand how she knew I was upset because I'm really good at hidding my emotions. I do iy all the time for that  matter. I guess its a mother thing or either she know that the day when she leave is approaching fastly and she just wants to comfort me with these chocolates. I hate even thinking about the day when she leaves I'm just depressed the whole day. And it's like you never know what's going to happen on that ride home. My mom always told me I have to stop thinking of the worst and think of the best in each situation.

Nail shop

 As most of you should kniow im really big on my nails so i enjoy going to the nails shop to get ther B-E-A-utified. I couldnt get a picture of my mom's nail because she wanted to get to what I call the money dumping place (casino) My mom really enjoys gambling, why? I have no idea. Thiswas the night I was dreading becuase I wanted her to stay home with me so I can be all up under her all night but that was not her plan. she knows I'm a big baby, she could go to the casino any other time. I guess you can tell im the baby, because she has spoiled me gave me all the attention I could ever want or need and has really gotten hard lately because she feels like I'm older so I dont need her attention anymore and that is not true. I did stay home and pout all night and was really up set when I woke up but I really tried to maintain the realaxed atmosphere but i was really upset with her.

Gifts from above

So I am happy to say that because I recived awesome grades I recieved the most important that would out shine almost any gift I would recieve in life which is a pure gold bangal. The reason why i say this is because my Aunt Dot from North Carolina also came up to visit me for the holidays. She is the aunt that likes to travel all over the world and collect gold bangals from different places. My siblings and I have always wanted Aunt Dot to give us one of her gold bangals and I am the first to actually recieve one. Yes, My siblings envy me but she said out of all of my siblings, I truely deserve it and that makes me feel like I"m doing everything right. Which equal a plus in my eyes. Literally +)

MOMMY!!!!!!!!


Every time I look at this picture it makes me smile because she is sucha character like myself. It's really hard to be away from her becuase she has just taught me so much and how to be strong and ti have her come stay for a few days is just a feeling of warmth. When I here my friends talk about how much they cant wait to graduate so they can get away from their mother just makes me shake my had because they dont know how it true feels not being around there mother for months at a time. That's why its so hard to see her leave. The next time i'll see my mom is for my graduation, that's a really long time from now. I try to make her vaction as peace anda relaxing as I can because my mom stresses out to the highest level. Im taking her out to get a full manicure and pedicure to help her relax. I love her so much!!!!!!!!

The day before

The day before my mom comes takes for ever to end. It's like timje caant move fast enough and I cant take it. Unfortunatly I had to miss the first day of practice before i had a dentist appointment, and I feel horrible. I feel like there is so much to learn. Although I am a fast learner and I have experience as a cheerleader, there are so many different styles of cheerleading. I really hope I can showcase the style that they have embodied (spell check) instead of staying in my comfort zone which I have a serious problem with. So when I went to thye dentist today I thought I was just getting my teeth cleanned and that was it. Come to find out, the last dential assistant that cleanned my teeth do not do such a great job causing me to go through a great deal of pain. After crying my little eyes out I made it through that horrid pain and she had the nerve to ask me to come back. SIKE!!!!!!!!!!!